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Shortbread.

The original derivation of this word came from the inherent stinginess of the Scottish. Never having enough (ie being short) money (or bread) is a perennial problem in the windy place north of the English border. Because they had no money they used what they could steal from the lord of the manor (flour and sugar from the kitchens) and what they could steal from the crofter next door (butter) to make a kind of biscuit upon which they lived when the haggis hunting season was closed. This biscuit became know as shortbread. There was a considerable risk involved in making shortbread since if you weren’t careful you could wake up one morning to find the massed ranks of the Highland Guard on your roof in full dress bearskins making a gawdawful racket with their bagpipes.

It is interesting to note that the Bagpipes originated as a weapon of war. When the English came north of the border, as they frequently did when the urge for a bit of Scottish mutton or Highland coo was upon them, they discovered a land that was not to their liking at all. Instead of the broad plains of their home they found themselves in what amounted to a kind of vertical bog, full of mists and weird clockwise fixated animals. The Scottish, playing on this inherent fear of anything not resembling a manicured lawn, used the skins of haggises to make a windbag onto which they fixed a number of reeds. Blowing into this bag created a sort of wailing air raid warning signal type noise which scared the bejesus out of the English who then knocked their commander on the head and hightailed it back to their gardens. Their commander, usually a king of some kind, left to his own devices would then be defeated when the Scottish sneaked up behind him and went “Och Aye the Noo!” as loudly as possible in his ear. It is a little known fact that the Battle of Bannock Burn was won in this fashion.